Oct 21

Cumulative update package 4 for SQL Server 2005 Service Pack 2

Microsoft’s getting a little punchy!

An access violation occurs in the “sqlservr!BufferPartition::Steal” function, and SQL Server stops responding.

Committing an access violation is the definition of stealing, no? So this seems like perfectly normal behavior for a steal function!

I like that SQL Server appears to get mad and ignore you when you the buffer manager starts stealing. This confirms my suspicion that SQL Server is actually an obnoxious child.

Jun 20

Snoop!

According to the OED, “snoop” comes from a Dutch word that means “to consume dainties in a clandestine manner.” Go forth and utilize this nugget.

May 10

Suggestions for Intimidation

I’m listening to “Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman.” It’s great fun.

If you’re ever challenged in a rest room, try Richard Feynman’s method to intimidate your intimidator: “Get out of my way, or I’ll pee right through you!” It didn’t work — he got in a fight anyway — but it dissolved me into laughter, so it’s worth a try on your adversary. If they’re at all intellectual, they’ll probably be distracted contemplating how you might do that to a person.